Tis the season for COOKIES!

That's right Cookies! I usually try to bake year round. I actually have this thing I call angry baking. It's where I get Really pissed off and to get my mind off of what is upsetting me I bake. I learned very early that it takes way more concentration then you would think to bake. So to get my mind off my angry and onto measuring, folding, dalloping, and kneading dough works great as a distraction. I have a lot of recipes that were passed down from John's mother to us that I just go nuts on. My favorite to make are the Molasses Crinkles. SO GOOD! Oh man. But this year I am going to follow my grandmother's way and mail off cookies to friends and family. I think it would be a beautiful thing to give something I worked so hard on to the people I love.

I hope they come out amazing for the amazing people in my life!

I know it's been a while

But sometimes you just need to try and deal and I am having a hard time dealing. Ever since my friend's murder the week after my birthday I have been on the edge. Everything that reminds me of him sets me off. German food! Cookie Monster, knee high boots! Anytime anyone makes any gay joke or uses the word gay to replace other hurtful words I lose it as well. I still have't been able to wrap my head around the idea that this kid had so much fear and/or hate towards homosexuals that he felt he needed to end my friend's life. To remove from this world, a friend, a brother, a son, and an all around nice guy. Troy never was mean to anyone. There was nothing but love in his heart. His smile and glowing soul lit every room he entered. Now, that light is gone. The light he put in my heart I feel has faded as well. I know it should last forever but it hurts to try and turn it on. I know I will take some time to forgive this young man for what he has taken from this world. Something we will never get back. I watch the skies and watch for his light in everything, hoping that he will show me he is still around. I feel the warm breeze and imagine it's his hugs. I do not wish for the young man that killed him to die. I know a lot of friends do, but I don't think they are thinking it through. I feel the hurt that he has caused us. It is my pain too. But I would never want anyone to feel this pain. To lose a friend. I don't want another mother to lose their son or another sister to lose their brother. I just want to believe with everything in me that Troy is alright. That this young man will NOT hurt anyone again and that he realizes what he has done to the people close to Troy.

The young man has not been to court yet to recieve his hearing. He is still out on bail with limited restrictions. I pray for the people in the area that he does not strike again. Also, I lose ALL respect for the city of San Antonio for letting this young man roam free in the city after confessing to murduring a man for being homosexual!

I will love with all my heart and treat everyone as they should be treated. Troy would have wanted me to spread love. I will and I will always remember him.

Training the new girl

Ok, she is a new girl. But, she's also my friend. Her name is Kathy and she is pretty much adorable. She is my friend Kristen's sister. They are both a bit silly and fun to be around. Well, one of girls in our department decided to move to another department, so we had to hire another employee. It just worked out perfect that Kathy was looking for a job at the time. And now here she is. I met Kathy last year when I offered to take Kristen to a concert. Kristen asked if she could bring Kathy along and of course I said yes. Little did I know it was going to be a very silly trip. We ended up having a blast and I hope I get to take them to more shows with me. Anyway, she works with me now! I train her tomorrow! YAY!

Could you please just understand

I have this thing about me where I love to help people. And if people let em help them, I will continue to until they get tired of me and tell me they no longer need my help. But sometimes I wonder if my constant helping makes them think I want something from them. Which is NEVER the case. EVER. I just love to help my friends. I always want to be there for my friends. If they need someone to talk with them to calm them down, I will be there. If they can't lift a tv to put on the entertainment center I will have my hand s handy to help. I just love to be supportive and be there for the people I love. Even if I help someone everyday do the samething and they never have a chance to help me, I will still love them. and I will love the fact that I was able to be there when either they couldn't find someone else or if I was the frist person they called.

I want to help. I don't feel obligated and I don't want you to think you owe me anything. I do it because you are my friend.

A short entry

Since tonight I can not sleep. I will be posting a brief entry. Things in my life went topsy turvy once my friends and I left Austin, TX after SXSW. But most things are back to normal. Normal enough for me to appreciate everything again. I know I just fixed my car but I love being on the road and I can't wait to get to my next destination. In May I see Ben Folds in Austin and in June I get to have a special weekend with a special friend of mine. One of her favorite musicians will be in town and we will be seeing him at least twice on my trip. The fun is on it's way and I am ready for it. I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend.
spread your smile and make someone's day.

Still trying to keep this movin, movin.

So I don't use this nearly as much as I should. My brain is always running, I am always thinking of something crazy to do and see. So, I am going to hop back on this more. So, be prepared to see more of me. :)

A List For Justina

5 Bands/Musicians I’ve been Listening to a lot Lately:
Steve Poltz
Ludacris
Bob Schneider
She and Him
The Makepeace Brothers

5 Things I’m Currently Addicted To:
twitter
facebook
my ipod
Multigrain pringles
smiling

Biggest Celebrity Crushes:
Andrew Bird
Thirteen from House
Matt Costa
Craig Ferguson
I am out of them so... your mother?

Songs I Can’t Stop Listening to at the Moment:
How High We Are Tonight - Bob Schneider
Lions - The Features
Gimme Gimme Gimme - Bob Schneider
Lisence Plate Eyes - Steve Poltz
Sexting - Ludacris

Best TV Shows: (I’m only going to include television still airing.)
house
Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
Mythbusters
Big Bang Theory
ghosthunters

Your Dream Future: 1 Job/1 City/1 Car/1 Spouse/1 Pet:
tour manager
Austin, TX
Something Smooth
Maybe, won't be dissapointed if not.
Puppy

5 Things that Always Cheer Me Up:
listening to music
Watching Craig Ferguson
Concerts
Traveling
Smiles

5 Bands/Musicians I’ve Seen Live in Concert:
Jason Mraz
Eric Hutchinson
Ice Cube
Reel Big Fish
bob schneider

TV Shows You’ve Seen Every Episode of: (i wait for dvds! this question isn’t fair :\)
Friends
House
ghosthunters
That 70s Show
TrueBlood

Put Your music player on Shuffle - What are the First 5 Songs that come up?
Ludacris - Splashwaterfalls
Hold On Loosely - .38 Special
98 Pounder - Steve Poltz
Trash - Bob Schneider
Big Blue Sea - Bob Schneider