Tis the season for COOKIES!

That's right Cookies! I usually try to bake year round. I actually have this thing I call angry baking. It's where I get Really pissed off and to get my mind off of what is upsetting me I bake. I learned very early that it takes way more concentration then you would think to bake. So to get my mind off my angry and onto measuring, folding, dalloping, and kneading dough works great as a distraction. I have a lot of recipes that were passed down from John's mother to us that I just go nuts on. My favorite to make are the Molasses Crinkles. SO GOOD! Oh man. But this year I am going to follow my grandmother's way and mail off cookies to friends and family. I think it would be a beautiful thing to give something I worked so hard on to the people I love.

I hope they come out amazing for the amazing people in my life!

I know it's been a while

But sometimes you just need to try and deal and I am having a hard time dealing. Ever since my friend's murder the week after my birthday I have been on the edge. Everything that reminds me of him sets me off. German food! Cookie Monster, knee high boots! Anytime anyone makes any gay joke or uses the word gay to replace other hurtful words I lose it as well. I still have't been able to wrap my head around the idea that this kid had so much fear and/or hate towards homosexuals that he felt he needed to end my friend's life. To remove from this world, a friend, a brother, a son, and an all around nice guy. Troy never was mean to anyone. There was nothing but love in his heart. His smile and glowing soul lit every room he entered. Now, that light is gone. The light he put in my heart I feel has faded as well. I know it should last forever but it hurts to try and turn it on. I know I will take some time to forgive this young man for what he has taken from this world. Something we will never get back. I watch the skies and watch for his light in everything, hoping that he will show me he is still around. I feel the warm breeze and imagine it's his hugs. I do not wish for the young man that killed him to die. I know a lot of friends do, but I don't think they are thinking it through. I feel the hurt that he has caused us. It is my pain too. But I would never want anyone to feel this pain. To lose a friend. I don't want another mother to lose their son or another sister to lose their brother. I just want to believe with everything in me that Troy is alright. That this young man will NOT hurt anyone again and that he realizes what he has done to the people close to Troy.

The young man has not been to court yet to recieve his hearing. He is still out on bail with limited restrictions. I pray for the people in the area that he does not strike again. Also, I lose ALL respect for the city of San Antonio for letting this young man roam free in the city after confessing to murduring a man for being homosexual!

I will love with all my heart and treat everyone as they should be treated. Troy would have wanted me to spread love. I will and I will always remember him.

Training the new girl

Ok, she is a new girl. But, she's also my friend. Her name is Kathy and she is pretty much adorable. She is my friend Kristen's sister. They are both a bit silly and fun to be around. Well, one of girls in our department decided to move to another department, so we had to hire another employee. It just worked out perfect that Kathy was looking for a job at the time. And now here she is. I met Kathy last year when I offered to take Kristen to a concert. Kristen asked if she could bring Kathy along and of course I said yes. Little did I know it was going to be a very silly trip. We ended up having a blast and I hope I get to take them to more shows with me. Anyway, she works with me now! I train her tomorrow! YAY!

Could you please just understand

I have this thing about me where I love to help people. And if people let em help them, I will continue to until they get tired of me and tell me they no longer need my help. But sometimes I wonder if my constant helping makes them think I want something from them. Which is NEVER the case. EVER. I just love to help my friends. I always want to be there for my friends. If they need someone to talk with them to calm them down, I will be there. If they can't lift a tv to put on the entertainment center I will have my hand s handy to help. I just love to be supportive and be there for the people I love. Even if I help someone everyday do the samething and they never have a chance to help me, I will still love them. and I will love the fact that I was able to be there when either they couldn't find someone else or if I was the frist person they called.

I want to help. I don't feel obligated and I don't want you to think you owe me anything. I do it because you are my friend.

A short entry

Since tonight I can not sleep. I will be posting a brief entry. Things in my life went topsy turvy once my friends and I left Austin, TX after SXSW. But most things are back to normal. Normal enough for me to appreciate everything again. I know I just fixed my car but I love being on the road and I can't wait to get to my next destination. In May I see Ben Folds in Austin and in June I get to have a special weekend with a special friend of mine. One of her favorite musicians will be in town and we will be seeing him at least twice on my trip. The fun is on it's way and I am ready for it. I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend.
spread your smile and make someone's day.

Still trying to keep this movin, movin.

So I don't use this nearly as much as I should. My brain is always running, I am always thinking of something crazy to do and see. So, I am going to hop back on this more. So, be prepared to see more of me. :)

A List For Justina

5 Bands/Musicians I’ve been Listening to a lot Lately:
Steve Poltz
Ludacris
Bob Schneider
She and Him
The Makepeace Brothers

5 Things I’m Currently Addicted To:
twitter
facebook
my ipod
Multigrain pringles
smiling

Biggest Celebrity Crushes:
Andrew Bird
Thirteen from House
Matt Costa
Craig Ferguson
I am out of them so... your mother?

Songs I Can’t Stop Listening to at the Moment:
How High We Are Tonight - Bob Schneider
Lions - The Features
Gimme Gimme Gimme - Bob Schneider
Lisence Plate Eyes - Steve Poltz
Sexting - Ludacris

Best TV Shows: (I’m only going to include television still airing.)
house
Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
Mythbusters
Big Bang Theory
ghosthunters

Your Dream Future: 1 Job/1 City/1 Car/1 Spouse/1 Pet:
tour manager
Austin, TX
Something Smooth
Maybe, won't be dissapointed if not.
Puppy

5 Things that Always Cheer Me Up:
listening to music
Watching Craig Ferguson
Concerts
Traveling
Smiles

5 Bands/Musicians I’ve Seen Live in Concert:
Jason Mraz
Eric Hutchinson
Ice Cube
Reel Big Fish
bob schneider

TV Shows You’ve Seen Every Episode of: (i wait for dvds! this question isn’t fair :\)
Friends
House
ghosthunters
That 70s Show
TrueBlood

Put Your music player on Shuffle - What are the First 5 Songs that come up?
Ludacris - Splashwaterfalls
Hold On Loosely - .38 Special
98 Pounder - Steve Poltz
Trash - Bob Schneider
Big Blue Sea - Bob Schneider

The days are going by and my excitement is building

I officially have 10 days until I pick up 3 of my closest friends from the Houston Airport. Wre have been scheduling for a while now to get together for SXSW 2010. They will land March 16th and together we will drive to Austin, TX. We rented a house for the week close to South Congress. All of us need this break, but most importantly we need each other. It's hard to have best friends that are a $300 flight away from you. We don't really have much planned, we are just going to see as much as we can and get the most of each day in the wonderful city of Austin. We are for sure seeing She and Him at Auditorium Shores and we just found out that a favorite of the group is playing a show! Bushwalla!
I will return will funny stories and pictures. We haven't seen each other since the Jason Mraz Red Rocks show so it is probably going to be a week long party.

:)

Why do we dream, the things we dream?

My dreams are always so way out of here. I think it has to do a lot with my mind that never stops running and my crazy curiosity and creativity maybe?

I can have a full novel of a dream that revolves around a female with flaming red hair and the legs of a fawn. She may be asking me to do something or help her to a new town. We will have to use what is around us and build something to travel in. The other night it was that we need to fly over a field of razor sharp grass. Just a tiny touch would need stitches. We had to create something on the ground that would work to fly us over the grass safely. Now, this flaming red haired fawn girl is NO help. She just kind of paces back and forth crying. To confused to throw in Ideas. While I was out gathering leaves and sticks and bones from half eaten elephants. She would still be stressing and pacing while I was sitting sketching out my idea in the dirt with a pointy elephant bone. Bones were all that was really left. It's like the natives smell dead elephants and come and steal the tusks right away. I eventually build something sturdy enough to take us over and save the day. But I always wonder what these dreams mean. Why this fawn girl and I never become friends even though I am always helping her out.
I should really write these dreams down. One day I could possibly have a book of small stories.

We Shall Be Free

I think this song should be played more. On any channel that plays country music. Let's push it a bit more. Throw these thoughts out and hope that people listen. Thanks.

Garth Brook's We Shall Be Free

This ain't comin' from no prophet
Just an ordinary man
When I close my eyes I see
The way this world shall be
When we all walk hand in hand

When the last child cries for a crust of bread
When the last man dies for just words that he said
When there's shelter over the poorest head
We shall be free

When the last thing we notice is the color of skin
And the first thing we look for is the beauty within
When the skies and the oceans are clean again
Then we shall be free

We shall be free
We shall be free
Stand straight, walk proud
'Cause we shall be free

When we're free to love
anyone we choose
When this world's big enough for all different views
When we all can worship from our own kind of pew
Then we shall be free

We shall be free
We shall be free
Have a little faith
Hold out
'Cause we shall be free

And when money talks for the very last time
And nobody walks
a step behind
When there's only one race
and that's mankind
Then we shall be free

We shall be free
We shall be free
Stand straight,
walk proud,
have a little faith,
hold out
We shall be free

We shall be free
We shall be free
Stand straight,
have a little faith
We shall be free

I have a sinus infection.

What is an average day?
Is it a day with slight drama? A day heavy in tears? Is it a day where you bounce around town with the beautiful sun shine warming your face? I guess it really depends on the person. My average day would probably be a day where I wake up wanting to be at work, but not wanting to crawl out of bed. I would wake up without an alarm clock around 10:30am. I would probably trip over an item i left on my floor while whiping the sleep from my eyes on the way to the ladies room. During the shower time I would set it to the to warm tempature and jump in and quickly move the head of the shower. Then fix it perfect. I would probably open my door after drying off and changing and Belle will be there with her tail wagging waiting for me to join her on the couch to watch a DVRed episode of Ellen. Around 2:25 I will start grabbing everything I need for work and heading out the door. During the drive to work I wil hit two red lights. One at the church, and one at the Valero. I remind myself to stay in the lane second from the right so I don't get stuck behind all the right hand turners. I would probably get to the intersction of Grogan's Mill and North Millbend right as the left turn ligth expires and turns red.
Then I would be at work. That would definitely be my average day.

That's all I have for you today so far. Hahaha! Sorry.

So, what do you do?

When your world begins to spin out of control. What do you do to keep someone you love from walking away from you. Someone you NEVER thought you would ever have to beg to not leave you?
If anyone can help, please let me know.
I can already feel us falling apart.

A New Blog, For A New Year.

So some goals for my new year are this,


Meet Kershia Wong


Meet Janette Razo


Eat less Cheese


Eat better in general



I would like to successfully learn yoga and practice it at least 3 days a week.


Be better with my money, LIKE SAVING!


Ween myself off of my daily soda.





That's all I have for now. But I know as the year continues I will have more struggles in my days and want to over come those struggles and add to my list!





My life has been actually pretty boring lately. Just working and planning a trip to Austin. I FINALLY got my vacation days approved. It's a miracle. I have a coworker that is pregnant and due the days I want to leave town, plus the days just happen to be Spring Break too. Wow, perfect timing right? But I feel so much better now that they days have been approved. Now I know that I can make my plans out. I will be driving into Austin, TX March 16th for the SXSW music conference. Now let me tell you what I know about SXSW. It's a music conference that happens every year around the same time. It draws in thousandssss of people and musicians. Because it is a conference, a lot of record labels will be in town and independent acts or acts looking for a better record label are going to be everywhere hoping that these big shots walk into the bar/studio/parking lot/hotel lobby that they are playing in. In the week that the conference is going on, you can expect at least 1500 bands performing. Unfortunately though, a lot of the good shows are badge and wristband only. Badges start at 500$ and wristbands go for 185$. But in order to get a wristband you must live within the Austin City Limits or get an Austin friend to get you one. But!!! Also, a lot of the side shows are free. Free?! What!? I know!! So you would only need to really RSVP online or just show up. And a lot of times they give out goodies and drinks and whatever. The only downer is... well not necessarily a downer but a limitation, the girls I am with are going to be under 21, which means a lot of the stuff we will be doing and going to will have to allow them in. A lot of these after parties are 21 and up though. It will be interesting and fun to find stuff for them to do though.

I'm going to post this for now just to get a new post up! Haha! Be back shortly.